The Sugar Monster has me again. I've gained anywhere from 14 to 18 pounds back. I felt invincible and now I just don't.
Thursday, May 01, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Saturday, April 05, 2014
While I'm not at a point in my life where I can go completely sugar free, I can see now where sugar has kept me captive nearly all my life! In my four month journey of detoxing myself, I have realized that my entire being was taken over by the demon called Sugar!! I want my life back!!!!
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
I stepped on the scale this morning and was at 190. That means a loss of 25.8 pounds! That immense! Last night I wanted ice cream and instead ate a cup of frozen Pomegranite avrils. And it totally hit the spot :)
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I had to fast overnight for a blood test and I haven't recovered yet. I've been exhausted all day and eating sugar and drinking caffeine. And it didn't help. I feel like I'm limping to the finish line and yet, still have a test to study for. I had a salad for dinner that I topped off with the last slice of Apple pie (it was small) and a couple of squares of dark chocolate. I could have more!! If I didn't think I'd be awake for a week, I'd have some coffee. Note to self; stay on schedule!!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Now comes the part where I have to deal with what comes after weight loss; I have less and less things in my closet to wear! I'm not complaining. I'm just trying to figure out how best to deal with it. I tried on jeans yesterday at JcPenney's. I was able to wear a size 14 but liked the cut on the 15 better. But at this rate, I'll be in a smaller size again in a few months. My bewbs are swimming in my bra. But also the skin on my face is starting to sag. That bothers me the most and I'm not sure how to deal with that.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Today is the 11th anniversary of the worst day of my life. 11 years and it doesn't hurt less. I have a wonderful life with my hubby and two babies but it doesn't hurt less.
I went out of town this last weekend. I wasn't a food saint but I also didn't go crazy. I didn't gain or lose so that's a victory for me.
The voice on my head is using my cheat weekend as a jumping off point for the non-stop negotiations that always come when I try and get healthy. Nothing bad happened and I ate 90% cocoa chocolate. So, if nothing bad happened then I can get away with a little more, right? What if I have some every day? It won't be bad. Constant fighting! Constant exhausting fighting!!!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Friday, March 07, 2014
I finally broke down and opened my Lindt 90% cocoa bar. I had dance class tonight plus hadn't used all my calories for the day. 4 squares are 240 calories. I ate it pretty slow and tried to savor it. It was hard because 90% isn't that sweet. But, it hit the spot. I followed it up with frozen strawberries.
Thursday, March 06, 2014
I'm excited about having to purchase new pants!
The temptation to eat garbage is less and less. I saw a donut today and thought about a trick an old Weight Watchers leader told me. Look at the food and how vibrant the color is. Then imagine the color getting more and more dull. Imagine it getting so dull that it starts to look old and even moldy. By the time I was done, the donut looked almost green. I didn't want it to start with and definitely didn't want it after.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2012/01/dont-eat-like-a-caveman/ I've hit my first plateau. I keep bouncing around within the same few pounds. I'm not eating nearly the amount of sugar I was before. I'm exercising regularly. And bam! There's that wall. Maybe I'll add in brown rice and legumes once or twice a week? Food is confusing.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
My issues seem to be centered on carbs. I've had a few occasions now where my carbs have gotten so low that I can barely focus/speak/walk. I'm just not that good at food. I'm so used to getting my energy from sugar that I'm a little lost.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Saturday and Sunday ended up being unplanned "cheat" days. I'm ok. But I need to hit the gym today for sure. Mondays are my gym day and I can't miss it. 15 pounds down and 15 to go. Saturday was a belated Valentine's Day dinner at the Olive Garden. I had the mixed grill which was steak, chicken, potatoes and asparagus. I had salad which had parmesan cheese but picked the croutons out (cuz I don't like them). I did eat almost an entire breadstick. I counted as much of it as I could using the nutrition guide on the Olive Garden website. Mike brought me a soy chai latte on Sunday morning. Soy isn't on my diet but I can't drink dairy right now. Well, neither is the sugar but my sugar intake is still very low. Sunday's dinner was at a great restaurant in Carson City called "Sassafras." I had the Thai Chicken salad. I have no clue what the calories were in that. It was an explosion of flavors in my mouth. Mike decided to get something called Supercalicheesalicious...our something like that as an appetizer. It was a small sourdough round full of different cheese and garlic pieces. We are paying for it today but it was amazing. Back to reality and my nose to the grindstone.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Saturday, February 08, 2014
We worked hard in belly dance class yesterday. Which only showed me how out of shape I am. I was forgetting stuff and not hold myself like I should. I woke up today with screaming muscles. I'm at such a cross roads with belly dance. Do I continue or is it time to do something else? Mike said to make my decision in a year since it's so close to when I left the troupe. And I will.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
I didn't eat enough during the day and started to feel pretty weak. It was one of those days where I was running from place to place, task to task. I ended up snacking a lot this evening instead. I had an Apple, some cashews and almonds. For dinner I had leftover salad with chicken. This is the second night this week that I went to the gym and the second time with Kiernan. He's really enjoying our new gym membership. Maybe he will be my gym buddy instead.
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Tonight I'm with Lulu at her first cheerleading practice. Mike had to encourage her to come but she's had a grin on her face the whole time. She's having a blast.
I've been very good today but I feel like I'm starving. I need to get home and fill up on veggies.
Monday, February 03, 2014
Super Bowl was yesterday. I decided to play it safe and I ate before we left. I didn't eat enough though because I was hungry. I didn't eat chips. I didn't eat candy. I had some vanilla creamer in my coffee and I had some meatballs. Boy, oh boy. I wanted to reach my hand into that bowl of M&M's. I must have walked past that bowl 5 times. But my hand stayed out. I'm back on track today.
We joined a gym this month. We actually joined on Friday but I had to work on Friday and Saturday. I considered going on Sunday before the game but decided to sleep. Tonight, Kiernan went to the gym to play basketball so after dinner I joined him there. I walked on the treadmill for 1/2 hour, did some arm strengthening exercises and did a round of leg exercises. I didn't do a whole lot on the machines because I didn't want to overdo it on my first night.
I got this!!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Folks, that's how you do it. 10 pounds gone! This week was rough. I made a poor food decision on Monday and I paid for it for days. The shredded beef I made needed to have more fat cut off of it and I needed to take the extra step and make my own BBQ sauce. I have a recipe but it will take time to put it together. And I was too lazy. And I paid for it.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
I'm still sick. I'm trying to keep up with keeping track of what I consume but sometimes it's hard to remember. I switched to G2 Gatorade but it's still sugar. And I don't care. I may make some scrambled eggs soon. Our better yet, get someone to make them for me.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Breakfast was 3 eggs. I had a coconut and almond Kind bar as a snack. Lunch was a curried chicken salad with balsamic vinaigrette. The family is having tacos but I out the meat inside lettuce leaves. I tracked my calories today and went over by about 50 calories. That didn't count the small piece of beef jerky I had when I got home. I picked up some coconut paste and was thinking about making some whipped cream out off it with the vanilla I have. Maybe I'll hold off until tomorrow.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
What I did eat today. A "Kind" almond and coconut bar, beef jerky, BBQ'd beef, salad with vinaigrette, sweet potatoes with olive oil, salt and pepper, coffee with unsweetened almond milk and 1/4 cup of cashews (not in that order). What I didn't eat. Fluffy sugar cookies covered in red frosting, hot cocoa, whipped cream or soda.
Both days had eggs, bacon, salad, cashews, beef jerky and tea. I did have a Starbucks coffee on Friday. I also had two small suckers at work on Friday. All in all, I didn't do half bad. Tonight at work, I drank two big sips of Diet Pepsi. The pain was excruciating!!! My throat instantly started closing up with acid reflux. My stomach felt like it was trying to claw its easy out through my front. I felt feverish and clammy. It reminded me again why I can't have that. My mantra has been "I don't eat that" and not "I can't have that." I can't have that means I've been deprived. I don't eat (our in this case, drink) that. It's a choice.
Thursday, January 09, 2014
It was egg and bacon day! It was what was for breakfast and dinner. Shopping is tomorrow! I'll probably just get more eggs and bacon. Lunch was an impromptu salad with ham. I didn't have dressing so I got a lite raspberry vinaigrette. It's technically cheating because it had high fructose corn syrup but I figured it was the lesser evil (as compared to ranch our thousand island etc). I keep reminding myself that I need to wean myself first. As long as I'm not shoving baked goods in my mouth then it's a victory.
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
I woke up hungry but didn't feel like eating. Is that weird? I drank a cup of coffee with almondmilk and ate a bunch of almonds. I was definitely hungry but the thought of eating made me nauseous. Today was our departmental retreat and I made my mind up that I wasn't going to drink anymore coffee. So, I walked in, and without thinking I poured myself some coffee. I can't drink my coffee black so I had to use creamer (dairy). Habits are hard to break. The rest of the day I drank hot tea and unsweetened ice tea. Lunch was turkey and ham on lettuce with mustard and a side of fruit. It should have been more than enough but I was still hungry. I went back and got a small bowl of vegetarian chili. I didn't have cookies or rice crispy treats. I did have two small dum dum suckers and when I got back to the office, I had a few sweet tarts. I figured, if I was going to have sugar, it was a small amount. Dinner was salad with balsamic vinaigrette, ham and bacon. The salad dressing should have been plain oil and vinegar but you use what you have.
What I have noticed is that my face is breaking out. I figured it wouldn't be breaking out. I hope it doesn't last for long.
Tuesday, January 07, 2014
Day 2. I really didn't plan this well because I can't shop for food until Friday. Breakfast was eggs and the last of the ham I was trying to eat (before it went bad). Lunch was a chicken curry salad with balsamic vinaigrette. I had a banana for a snack but by the afternoon I started to crash hard. I had sweet tarts that my mom brought to me. I tried to eat them slow and was mostly successful. However, I did not eat them all. And I did not eat the chocolate or treats on the back counter. Small victories. Dinner was the last of the taco meat in lettuce with mineral water.
Monday, January 06, 2014
Until I get paid, we have limited food in the house. For breakfast I had eggs and ham, lunch was a grilled chicken breast with grilled mushrooms and onions on lettuce and dinner was taco meat wrapped in lettuce. I did snack on almonds while getting dinner ready. I feel hungry but I don't believe I am. But I don't feel like I'm going to throw up (which is an almost nightly occurrence).